The Rise of the Screenager 2007 — 2020

Our kids are safer than ever. Despite what you hear from people running for office, crime in America is down. Hunger is limited to the poorest Americans. Disease is largely controlled. War is limited to professional military personnel.

Our children are safe from external risk factors that plagued earlier generations.

They are safe from nearly everything, except themselves.

The 1980’s Called

I recall growing up in the 80’s, when our family’s biggest issue was who was tying up the family landline with their latest flame.

Was there any more gut-wrenching experience than calling a girl? I can still remember calling Teresa Pink. I’d dial six numbers and hover my index finger over the seventh digit trying to muster the courage to punch the seventh digit. It was awful.

Inevitably I’d summon the courage to hit the seventh digit. The phone would ring. Inevitably, one of Teresa’s brothers would answer. It went something like this:

Brother: “Hullo?

(Dammit, it’s the brother.)